Van der Waals Bonds or Human Relationships?

In chemistry, the Van der Waals bonds are weaker than other bonds. That is, it is easier to separate two atoms linked by such bond than to break bonds of other type. Humans are like atoms. Sometimes, they want to be very close to someone else. They may create a strong bond (ionic or/and covalent bonds, depending on the intensity of the relationship); sometimes, the resulting bond is weaker (Van der Waals bonds and/or Hydrogen bonds); sometime, humans believe they created a bond, but to realize then that it was not a bond at all. Now, the nature of these bonds may vary, so they can be friend(ships), love(ships), sex(ships), intellectual(ships), economic(ships); they can be everything humans want such bonds to be.

Throughout my life, I had my share of friend(ships) and love(ships), but I lost them all when I came to the U.S. Here, I found silence and frustration. Americans are not very extroverted people. Apparently, it is difficult for them creating any kind of bond. They do not talk much and they are self-absorbed. This is true in every field, in every context/contest, in everything Americans do. More than concerned with human relationships, Americans are concerned with rushing their lives and buying more things.

Yes, Americans are self-absorbed. This is one of their biggest problems; they do not need (or they just think they don't) anybody else's help or friendship. Americans can recite lines for you and after a minute say, “Oh, I have to pee in the woods, I’ll see you!” Americans can walk over a dead body without realizing what they just did, but then they may cry at a wedding! I am forcing myself to fit in this reality. A terrible feeling.

For years now, I have been screaming, “Hey Americans, I am here, can you see me?” But Americans do not want to hear/hear me. More than a critic, I became an observer. I cannot do anything else than just watching and hoping that, one day, somebody will take my hand and will say “Hey, I heard you. Do not scream anymore, I am not deaf… Let’s have a talk!”

Yeah, I am a little dreamer, still.

While I am waiting for this moment, though, I am afraid I can lose my humanity and my ability to create bonds. I am afraid my heart will dry like a handful of raisin.

I am a man among other men, but I am invisible. A face amidst other faces, a face without color, without a smile. I howl, “for God ’s sake, please I am a human being too!” And I am a screamer without voice. I am like in an Edvard Munch’s painting…

Can anyone grab my hand, before I fall?

Please.